Show me light

The things that aren't spoken
Don't think its all broken
Give me some time
I bet everything will just be fine

I understand you like always
What was will always stay
You are my friend my affection
A bit of me, my hearts section

Time has completed a circle
Its time to begin
Its time to be myself
Let me commit no sin

Give me your word my friend
Show me my real self
Make me believe in me once more
I am not who I used to be for sure

Give me love Give me pain
Let my life go not in vain
Show me light, the right way
For I am dying day by day

Bandura's Four Stages of Learning

I don't know if you are aware or not but there exists a theory by the name of "Bandura's Four Stages of Learning". Bandura says that there are four stages to learn a skill. They are 1) Unconscious Incompetence 2) Conscious Incompetence 3) Conscious Competence 4) Unconscious Competence. Let me explain with an example.

You wish to ride a bicycle. When you look at other people doing it you think its easy and can be done (Unconscious Incompetence or Ignorance). When you try yourself and fall on your buttocks you realize its not so easy (Conscious Incompetence or Realization). You keep trying it again and again (Conscious Competence or Practice). And now you can do it flawlessly without thinking too much (Unconscious Competence or Skill). Bandura was so right. It applies to other skills such as driving, swimming (provided you don't drown during the first stage. You would really get stuck in the unconscious stage), effective communication, business writing etc.

What I was thinking was 'Is Bandura always right?'

Lets take 'Sex' for example. Well obviously everybody goes through the ignorance stage. Men think they are James Bond and women literally are in the 'Ignorant' stage. The second stage would be the most embarrassing I would say. I would rather fall on my buttocks a 100 times (from a bicycle...refer to above!!). The best stage would be the third one. The practice one. Conscious competence (  :p ). What I wonder is what if you reach the fourth stage?Unconscious Competence. What then? You would be able to do it without thinking or any bloody realization (pun unintended). Might as well ask Bandura to do it.   

Bandura obviously didn't know what he was talking about. Take farting for instance. Think what would you do to yourself in the second stage and what would you do to the world in the fourth stage

Facebookly Photogenic!

Sorry about the word 'Facebookly". Facebook is so popular these days I could almost feel that the word could be used as an adjective with a little bit of tweaking.

Does it happen with you that when someone clicks a picture of you having a ball in a bar, all you can think of is "Wow! That ones going up as my profile picture!" Some people will even forget that they are drunk and will pull out their fancy Blackberrys and iPhones (I have a modest e71) to upload the pictures right away. Others will pester you to send the picture immediately using bluetooth as if its a race of who can get to the wall faster. Or does this happen that you are in the middle of a raft (Rishikesh baby!!) and your friend takes out the camera and then you can expect to hear what has been heard a million times before "Facebook picture please?"

I know of a friend who is dead scared of heights and jumped from a cliff (Rishikesh Baby!!) twice just because his picture did not come right the first time.Sorry I forgot to mention that he was jumping into the Ganges and is still alive. I wonder what was going on in his mind the second time he jumped "Is he getting the right angle?Is this stupid helmet blocking the view?I hope it looks like I am pro?Oh no!Will I have to do this again?" Its funny what all things can give you courage.  

Does this phrase often cross your mind when you read a notification that you have been tagged in a photo - "Shit!Which photo?" And when you open it and it turns out to be this hideous image where you have been captured which your mouth open and looking totally demented. You frantically look for the "Untag" link but somewhere in the corner of your mind you still know that the picture exists on the world wide web (Which is Facebook these days by the way!). A thought also crosses your mind that maybe if you hit the "Report Abuse" link a 1000 times, the Facebook people might remove it because you had read something of this sort somewhere (probably on facebook). I don't know what the big deal is? (Please don't put any of my photos). Okay so sometimes we do it too. Okay I do it all the time.

Confession: We paid the snowmobile guy at Rohtang Pass 50 bucks so that we could get a picture on the beautiful machine (We couldn't afford the 1000 bucks ride fee).

A Nail Biting Affair

During my childhood I once rammed my left foot into a pot (obviously the one with plants) while cycling and ever since I have faced a lot of problems with my left toenail. It grew into my skin everytime and I had to get it removed every year. This year when it started to happen again I sought for a permanent cure. It turns out its a simple procedure where they would kill the nail bed under my skin where it resides and after that my nail would grow where it should. Well its only afterwards I found out that the simple procedure consisted of 4 injections, cutting my skin, removing flesh, chipping off half my nail and two stitches.

Its 1'o clock on friday and me and my dad are waiting outside the operation theatre (Thats right. This simple procedure was done in a proper operation theatre with a red light I have seen only in movies. My last nail removal was done in the dressing room of an OPD). So this young girl with surgery clothes and a mask walks up to me and hands me an operation gown. "Make sure you remove everything". "Everything?" " Yes, Everything." (Was I getting a heart transplant? What has my essentials got to do with my bad toenail?)So I am in the changing room and I knew my sorrows were only starting. This gown was like a green wraparound only with all the tying strings sewn on one side. Only one was available on the other side. I tied that one and was wondering if the other strings were to be used to tie me to the bed or something. This gown was weird. It kept slipping from the shoulder because it hadn't been tied in that area (Stupid tailors of the hospital). I now knew how girls felt wearing one pieces. Damn they are brave. I also felt like a jackass wearing this thing and sitting outside the surgeons office with my dad who by the way could hardly contain his laughter. Soon I was escorted to the operation theatre. It was like one of those you see in movies where the doctors are removing bullets from the hero's chest.

So here I am lying on the bed and covered with a number of green sheets so that only my foot and my head was visible. Turns out the young girl surgeon would be assisting the doctor surgeon in this operation. They were ready to give me Anasthesia so the doctor warned me that the injections would hurt. They gave me the first one and I almost ate my lower lip. "Did it hurt?" (Well of course not. I come from Jupiter. Why don't you try again??)I then thought it would be best to be brave and bear the pain like a man. Be expressionless. I thought of Jack Bauer from 24. The other three injections went smoothly and I showed no signs of pain even though it did. I was proud of myself.  Its only later I figured that I was supposed to show signs of pain so that they could give me adequate anasthesia. Fortunately the anasthesia worked well and I could sense the two doctors busy on my toe. Although it was the questions he kept asking to the nurses that were troubling me. "Do we have silver nitrate?" "Do we have any hydrogen peroxide left?". (What the heck?) Aren't you supposed to ask these kind of questions BEFORE you begin tearing my toe apart?

The operation was successful and as they were dressing my toe I asked them the dreaded question not feeling so brave now "Will it pain when the anasthesia wears off?". This is the reply I got "It won't be a severe pain but it'll be like ...umm....a throbbing one. What? Aren't they like synonyms?

Logic and Emotions

I have been told that I am stubborn when it comes to my decisions and I rarely change them. My answer to that is that if you can give me a logical explanation why I should change my decision then I will. But what about emotions? What does one do when emotions are involved? There is no logical explanation why one likes the colour red and the other orange. How does one take a decision in such a case? It is apparent in such cases one has to think emotionally and not logically. But how does one know when to think logically and when to think emotionally?

I believe when one has to think logically he should know the difference between right and wrong, the difference between 1 and 0, the difference between true and false. It hardly matters what I think or what you think. But when thinking emotionally I think it is important to know both the individuals before taking the decision. You cannot buy blue curtains just because you like them. You have to consider the colour pink too. One might ask what if you are thinking logically but the other thinks emotionally. You are in deep trouble then my friend.

In such a case its best to neither think with logic nor with emotions. Its a good idea to adopt another value such as Sacrifice. Believe me its the logical thing to do :)

Bon Voyage

Have you checked Delhi's new terminal 1D?Its fantastic. Reminds me of the Great Hong Kong Airport. (Thats right. I have been to HK. For a good six hours). Its a good thing I reached three hours early. It gave a lot of time to check out what Delhi had to offer. I must admit Delhi ( & NCR obviously) has shown a lot of signs of improvement (read Bad signs). But later about all that. What I am here to discuss is how I have noticed a weird change in attitude in people (Ok. I am talking about myself) when they come to Airports.

Its not because of the people (Though you'll be able to find every kind possible. Even a sadhu. Especially a sadhu actually. God does invite you to places.) Well its because of the environment. The amenities they provide. Like suppose internet. You must have not checked your email for days but you'll suddenly feel the urge to do so at the Airport. Maybe its because you have to project yourself as an important person who has to keep up with his email every minute. That is why they give us these amenities don't they? How about the cafe's? The prices would be reaching Mt. Everest but NO. We are at the airport. We can afford all this. You'll never buy the paid meals on cheap flights but you'll pay heavily for stale food at the airport. Maybe its something to do with the ambience. You know people are watching and you better be doing something meaningful. You can always see people removing laptops from their hand baggage and waiting in line for the only charging point available.

The best example I would give to prove my point would be myself. I have already spent 200 bucks on crappy food. Paid extra for KFC's hot wings. I have grabbed the only charging point at Costa Coffee (Yo Boy!) and am blogging - something I hadn't done for three months. :)

What's in a name?

Have you ever passed through the phase in your childhood when your close relatives give you weird names? You already have a nickname but somehow it's too common and boring for people. Take my name nickname for example: Sonu. Every third person in India has that name. Especially in Punjab. Well actually for Punjab I'm glad I got a decent name. Otherwise they give you names like Piku, Tiku, Pappu, Pintu...It won't be surprise if these are their real names.

I remember getting the name "Thanda Garam" from someone from my Nani's house. Apparently I got this because I was never satisfied with the temperature of the milk that was given to me. Another name I got from my Nani's house was "Mirchi". Apparently I was too thin and bony in my childhood (I know its hard to imagine). I even remember some aunt's telling my Mom that even if she fries me in hot oil I'll not become fat (thanks a lot!).

I also got a chinese name from my cousin sister: Ching Fung Li(That's right my chinese name even had a freakin middle name). She still calls me Ching Li by the way (I know its catchy).

In school also I was given a lot of nicknames. Though they were mostly modifications of my real one. Gau, Goti, Gomzi (Thanks to Kyunki Saas bhi Kabhi Bahu thi), Gaumata. In college I was happy to get a decent nickname. My initials: GG. Although some of them have gone back to calling me Gau. Some of them an extended version of Gau i.e. Gauuuuuu (reminds me of some hybrid between a cow and a wolf).

The point is now that my life has taken a little turn :) and with the blessings of Goddess Parvati I get a new nick name almost everyday ;) .  

Oh Crap!

That's exactly what I keep blurting out these days. Why? Somehow my stars (read carelessness) don't match with certain things for example :- Important Documents. My CAT was scheduled on December 6th. I had no idea where my voucher was. Actually I had this faint belief that it was in my desk's top drawer. Has it ever happened with you that you have this terrible feeling that it might not be there but you never check because you don't want to shatter the only tiny thing that you have : hope. So naturally (now that I have explained) I didn't check before the 5th. And when I finally did: "Oh Crap!!" Now where the heck did it go. Did I ever put it in here? Is it in the folder where all my other important documents are (if there are any left i.e.)? Now I was looking at the prometric's website looking nervously at the FAQ'a. Can you believe it? Nothing remotely related to a lost voucher. My friends had a convenient explanation for the incomplete FAQs. "Dude! Nobody's that stupid." The call centre number was of no help either (I blame daytime office hours). So I went to sleep thinking that maybe Prometric would later understand.

Now do you believe in divine intervention (I heard this term first in a PDP session at CL). I actually dreamt that night where my voucher could be. I remembered that my drawer is usually very full and that I had trouble sometimes just opening it. I saw two possibilities that either my voucher had got stuck on the upper wall of my drawer or it could have fallen into the cabinet below. The first thing I did when I woke up was to check the cabinet and there it was lying there (All izz well!)

Now coming on to XAT (which by the way was today). I took extra precautions and took the print out of my admit card a day before. I woke up early and I am the center at the exact reporting time. I was looking around amidst the crowd to find people I know when (Fortunately) I thought of checking my admit card before I went in. The 3rd point under important instructions read "Bring original ID proof such as Driving Licence, Passport, Voter's Id etc".

Oh Crap!!

Sutta Friends

Everybody has friends (well almost). They could be School Friends, College Friends, Locality Friends, Gym Friends (I'll have those soon enough), Work Friends, Girlfriends, Boyfriends etc. But in my four years of college I have realized that there is another breed : "Sutta Friends". This is the easiest type to make. Its cheap too. All you have to do is ask for a match and there you go. You have just made a friend. Undoubtedly you are going to meet him almost everyday at the smoking hangout places (i.e. Sutta point. Every college has one).

Whats interesting to note is that the little high makes you forget the usual channels of making a friendship. If you see two guys sharing a cigarette they are probably best friends already. Soon the group increases and before you know this group hangs out everyday, goes to eat dinner everyday (at the local dhaba ofcourse), fights together (believe me they'll bleed for each other), study together (well they need each others help now more than ever). They even go vacationing together (places like Rishikesh for rafting). You can hear them shouting at 3 in the morning when they find out that one of the blessed souls has a 'sutta' left. They have terms like "Taxi" and "French Kiss" which are techniques of smoking together (Do not try this at home).

Whatever problems they may have with each other it takes but a Rs. 5 marlboro light to take that away. Kudos to such friends.
(Tribute to : Raju, Gulati, Tou, Kabra, Chotu, Goli, Johnny(who by the way is entering a different breed altogether), ketu, ronjan.....(its endless actually)..)

Puff away my weird friends...

Head Chef @ New Year's Eve

Thats right. I was spending New Years Eve all alone. Even my parents had gone clubbing (Actually the The Railway Club Ball). My brother had already shipped himself to Goa. My mom tells me he and his friends are putting up at some cottage near Anjuna Beach (Its not fair!). I mean people go to visit Anjuna but to live in Heaven itself (Unfair!!). So I decided that I would spend my New Year's Eve cooking. Well obviously my mom did not approve of the idea but had to comply (Best weapon: Flattery). It was a tough job dishing out all the old recipe books from the bookshelves. After a dusty affair my mom conveniently handed me the October's edition of Tarla Dalal's "Cooking & More". Have you ever gone through cookbooks before? They are hilarious. The names of the recipes makes you wonder whether its food or investment strategies. For example one of the recipes I chose was "Veg. Glycemic Index Biryani" (What the heck is Glycemia? Sounds like a disease). The other recipe I chose was "Brocolli, Cheese & Chilli Qeusadillas". Doesn't that sound cool. Cooking a what seemed like a Mexican Dish at home. But those who have a little bit of knowledge would know that this is Brocolli, cheese and chillies stuffed between two Makai ki rotis. Thats right. Quesadillas are Makai ki rotis. (Bloody Show Offs!) "Oh I would like some plain Quesadillas with Spinach Sauce". Punjab has been serving that for years now.

Now you must be wondering why I call myself the Head Chef. You think my mother would let me destroy her tidy kitchen with my clumsiness. She appointed my maid and servant to help me (or bear with me). The truth is they did all the cooking, blanching, kneading (i got all these terms from the magazine. I had to use a dictionary). I was only directing them (Hence the term Head. If they ever read this they'll probably laugh).

Well everything turned out well. We had added extra stuffing to our Quessadillas. Just Brocolli and chillies? (Yech!!) We threw in some onions, tomatoes, pasta and extra cheese. (What? Isn't that typical Indian mentality. We want more in less. Have you ever picked Onion & Capsicum Pizza from Veg-I category at Dominoes. You always go for the Farmhouse you greedy Bastards!). The glycemic biryani was ok. (How can it be? It was diseased). I lit some candles (Check the photo if you don't believe me). I used pomegranate seeds for garnishing. I even used one of my Mom's expensive wine glasses for my Diet Coke (I like to do things with style except the fact that it was just diet coke and not actual wine).

After the picture was taken I blew the candles,picked up my plate, rushed to the TV room and got back to watching what Victoria had in store for us while my assistants replenished the good food periodically.